Voicemail from my daddy

I got an interesting voicemail from my daddy this morning. I have to set a little ground work, before I tell you about it. My daddy is 70+ years old and retired. As near as I can tell, he keeps busy by gardening and visiting with his friends at Ben’s Burgers’ in Oakland California. When I was a kid in the 70’s, the social spot was Rips Soul Food Kitchen and McDonalds; both on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley. Ben’s, as a social spot, is a fairly new thing; he’s older now and he worries about driving too far.

The voicemail this morning was to tell me that he’d received the two copies of Never Wake I’d sent him. Yes, I send copies of my books to both my parents. Now here’s where it gets odd. My daddy then requested I send him two more copies. Was I surprised? Nope. He sells a lot of my books to his Ben’s Burgers social club friends.

Now, between you and I dear reader, I doubt he’s ever read any of my books. I also doubt any of his friends have either. I vacillate between wishing my books were going to people who actually read them, and being damn proud of my daddy for his boldness and his ability to make such supportive friends. Now where was he when I was pushing Girl Scout cookies in the fifth grade?

Libraries to Go

All right folks. My short story deadline looms large, but I wanted to blog about a great feature many libraries are offering.

My commute ranges from 40 minutes to an hour depending on the weather (believe it or not Portlanders have a hard time driving in the rain). I keep this segment of my life from being a total waste of time by listening to podcasts or audiobooks. That’s where Libraries to Go comes in.

With a library card issued from a supported library, you can add your name to a waiting list to listen to all kinds of audiobooks for free. Many of the classics are available immediately. No late fees, no fumbling with CD’s and no last minute trips to the library.

Now, for the catches. You didn’t seriously believe there wouldn’t be any did you? Not all libraries are supported, you will have to download the Overdrive software, and many of the audiobooks can not be burned to CD or downloaded to an ipod. But if you are a gadget head like me, you carry your laptop and or your handheld with you most places anyway.

On a related note, I am amazed at the numbers of people that don't take advantage of the offerings of their public library. I am aware that not all libraries are created equal and funding dictates how many services each library offers. But here in Metro Oregon, our library offers most of the NY Times bestsallers in audiobook and print form almost immediately. Be prepared to wait for the more popular titles.

Manuscript off to the publisher. YES!!!

My manuscript is in the hands of my publisher. What usually happens is the publisher assigns an editor and in a few weeks or months (depending on how busy the editor is) you get the redlines back. I have two books on schedule for edit in 2007. And I should probably write another book in between the two edits. I'll spend the next two weeks revising and editing a anthology piece and figuring out what I want to do next.

In Gabe’s tech ho’ news I finally pulled the trigger on a new laptop to celebrate sending in the manuscript. I purchased a Dell D620. Now for those who don’t know me this is probably my fourth laptop in ten years. I seem to be hard on them. My criteria are simple. You must work, you must work hard, you must not weigh a ton (see above post about the other crap I carry) and you must run at least 99 present of the apps I want you too. Seems easy enough right? We’ll see if Dell is up to the challenge.

Global Orgasm day

The folks over at the Global Orgasm website would like us all to make love not war. They would like December 22 to be Global Orgasm Day. Works for me!

What's in my gadget bag?

All right so I thought I would fool around with flikr the other day while on a conference call. I absolutely adore free stuff. Say what you will about yahoo, flikr Google, and blogger, but they are probably the best free stuff you'll ever find. If folks from work run across this post, sorry, but you people bore me to tears. Now there are a few disclaimers that I must insist on. This is not a purse. It's a gadget bag. Gabe doesn't carry a purse--It's a bag--comprende?

If you would like to know what some of the smaller items are you can follow this link to flickr and wave your cursor over each object.

Gabrielle's Success

Have you ever found a letter from yourself that gave you a kick in the pants just when you needed it? I found this on the hard drive of my old computer. My first thought was to edit it to death, but I decided not to. I hope you'll understand why when you read it.

Gabrielle's Success

I didn’t need that red needle coming to rest on the thick black 250 to tell me I had a problem. My thighs chafed when I walked longer than 15 minutes, my knees cracked and my lungs burned from walking up short flights of stairs. I had to purchase men’s jeans in order for them to fit comfortably. I wore 42DDD bras and I would have rather licked botulism than hop on a scale.

Eventually there came a day when I decided that it was time to get my life and myself back. No matter how many years I’d spent as an “overweight” adult, I never felt comfortable with that title. I always thought of myself as active. I would even tell people I didn’t eat much in order to dispel any misconceptions regarding HOW I got as big as I was. I realized that in order for me to lose weight and become healthy, I would have to find out exactly how much damage I had done to myself over the years. With heart pounding and eyes squinting, I stepped on the scale and confirmed what I had already suspected. I wasn’t just overweight. I was morbidly obese.

Since I began my weight loss journey, I’ve given a great deal of thought to what may have caused my obesity. But in truth, it was probably a combination of things. As a child, I believed friends who had pantries stocked with cookies, candies and sugary cereals to be rich. In my teens, when I did begin to care about my weight, I would remedy perceived love handles by not eating. As a young adult, I ate junk foods because I was too lazy to cook. In my mid 20’s, I was ratcheted up the ranks of my company to a management position, complete with expense account. I was expected to wine and dine clients weekly; a chore that I completed without complaint. And finally, in my late 20’s I suffered from what I now believe to be undiagnosed depression.

You’re probably thinking: How could she not know she was depressed? I didn’t know, because I didn’t have any of the symptoms that I associated with depression. I didn’t lie in my bed and hide from the world. I wasn’t particularly sad or angry. I got up every morning, got dressed, went to work and sometimes even managed a legitimate smile. Oh, and I ate.

I ate as much as my boyfriend(I was in denial folks) and neither of us thought anything of it. When that relationship ended we were both bigger people for the experience. As my weight grew, a problem I can trace back to early childhood began to develop like an ill formed twin. My problem was negative thinking. I would often think and say things about myself that would bring tears to my eyes. Words such as “stupid” and “fat cow” come to mind as I type this, but these are probably the least abusive of what I thought of myself. Food became a panacea—a salve for hurts that I inflicted on myself.

Success comes at a price, isn’t that what the old adage says? The price I paid in order to get to a healthy weight was accepting the responsibility that I was solely to blame for my condition. I had mentally and physically abused my body by giving it foods that were not nutritious, and refusing to listen to it when it complained of its poor treatment. I will carry the scars of that abuse in the form of stretch marks over newly formed abs for as long as I live. They (stretch marks) will forever be reminders, should I ever forget how far I’ve come.

At first glance you might think that my success is simply that I’ve lost over 100 pounds and that I am no longer obese or even overweight according to most doctors charts. But that is only half my story. Immediately after reading Dr Atkins’ New Diet Revolution, I remember knowing with absolute certainty that one day I would be in a size 10 again. That was one of the few positive thoughts I’d had in years and I held on to it as if it were a life preserver throughout my journey.

I currently weigh 144.8 pounds and wear a size 8 woman’s and a 30 in men’s jeans. But even that small victory is not why I consider myself successful. I consider myself successful because I was kind to myself. For 19 months I looked at myself in the mirror and said “good going sweetie.” I congratulated myself when I passed on the movie popcorn (my favorite) and I rubbed the back of my own neck after I worked out particularly hard. I told myself ”soon” when I’d try on a new pair of jeans that still didn’t quit fit , and I told myself that tomorrow was another day when I ate too much. I stopped being afraid of food and I embraced it for its ability, when used properly, to make me feel healthy. I became my own best friend and trusted confidant. I learned to love Gabrielle…and in the midst of all that loving of me… I lost 105 pounds. Go figure.

Clean slate

I want to write on this so bad. The problem is everyone would know I did it. It's right outside my window at work. Fresh poured and more permanent then paper. How could they expect me to pass this up? 500 words...I could fit 500 at least.

The End

Just a quick update to say that I’ve typed the words THE END for both my short story and my novel. Which means…absolutely nothing.

Actually, I'm kidding. What it means is, I can shift completely into the editing mode. People who edit their work as they go are amazing. I learned a long time ago that I could get bogged down for three days on one sentence if I did that. So, when I say I wrote THE END on both pieces, I mean I now have a nearly illegible draft of something that I can chip away at until I find the good bits.

What fun!

Never Wake is available for pre-order!

Never Wake is available for pre-order at StarCrossed-- Shipping November 5th


Emma Webster is the victim of a brutal assault. Because of the resulting terror, she spends two years as a self-sentenced prisoner locked inside her condo, living a lonely but safe existence - at least she thought it was safe until the world outside her window goes silent.

Troy Nanson, a bicycle messenger, awakens in a hospital with an excruciating headache, but she has no memory of how she was injured or how long she has been there. When her calls for help go unanswered, Troy leaves her bed to search for hospital staff members, only to find them unconscious in the hospital lounge. They have pulses and are breathing, but she cannot rouse them. Are they comatose, drugged? In a trance-induced sleep? She calls 911, but no one answers. As she explores downtown Portland, Oregon, Troy's suspicions are confirmed - the rest of the world has fallen asleep, and nothing she does will wake them. Fear and desperation cause Troy's tenuous grip on reality to slip. She's ready to give up, but then she finds Emma.

Believing they are the only people awake in the entire world, these two women who are as different from each other as they could possibly be, come to depend on one another to find their way through the insanity that surrounds them. Their initial need for simple companionship turns into an attraction that they are just beginning to explore when Troy stumbles across evidence that results in some startling realizations.

There are at least two other people still awake in Portland, but one of them is a murderer. Can Troy and Emma find a way to outsmart the killer, or will they, too, become those who NEVER WAKE?

Simple Literary Will

One of my favorite novelists and comic book writers Neil Gaiman has done all of us writers, songwriters and photographers a real solid by having a lawyer friend of his draw up a literary will. Here's a link to Neil's Blog where you'll find the downloadable PDF.

Funky Weekend

I spent most of Saturday procrastinating and surfing the net. I wrote about 1200 words on a new piece. Although, I’m happy to be able to report that I wrote something, it wasn’t a project I have a deadline for, and was probably just more procrastination.

Sunday was a lot more productive. I woke up at the crack of ass--thanks to the time change--and could not get back to sleep. So I spent the first half of the morning doing more web surfing. I’m not going to get down on myself (how great would that be?) because I was able to complete another chapter and slap another 1900 words on my meter for this weekends. I’m only counting the words in a scene after I actually use them in a chapter so I’m sure I’m probably closer to 68000. My goal is to have the draft completed by Sunday the fifth.

If money were no object...

Periodically my partner and I have conversations about wining millions.
Before I go further, I should point out that my partner has a job, that pays well and that she enjoys.

She’s also a semi-pro poker player. I say semi-pro because in order for her to be pro she would have to make the same annual salary that she makes in her day job. Semi –pro simply means she makes half her annual salary. My reason for bringing this up is because she and I have often discussed what we would do if she hit it huge or if we won the lottery. Keep in mind, we don’t play the lottery, this is just a figurative conversation.

Anyway, she seems to think she would continue to work her office job. I say bull. I don’t care if you love your office job, most of us would rather be doing something more creative. She pointed out that when I had the opportunity to write full time, (after the lovely tech boom of 2000) I got fat, bored and mean. Well, she didn’t say it like that, but she implied it.

So with that in mind, I asked myself, would I continue to work an office job if money were no object? It really differs in every office, but I’m starting to think that people who sit in cubicles have accepted some facts about life that I am not quite ready to accept. I haven’t reached my full potential nor am I willing to sacrifice for the next generation.

Screw that. If money were no object, I’d buy myself a jet plane so that I could procrastinate in the Bahamas, sit and admire the women in South Beach, and write this blog from a café in Paris. Care to join me?

1st daft of short story complete

The good news is, I completed a draft for my short story this morning. The bad news is, I’ll need to cut at least 500 words during the editing process. I really hate cutting. I usually save myself the aggravation by shooting low and adding if necessary. Adding is infinitely easier then deleting your words.

Authors on my shelf

Not only do I write fiction, but I read it. Here are some links, in no particular order, to authors that I have on my bookshelf. I'll update the list with more links and descriptions when I have more time.

Renee Bess

Radclyffe

Gerri Hill

Georgia Beers

JD Glass

Lori L. Lake

Jane Vollbrecht

Neil Gaiman

Quitting the day job

I keep a day job for two reasons. First, I need the health insurance (and the pay isn’t that shabby either), but the second reason might surprises some people. Too much time proved to be detrimental to my productivity. Writing can be a solitary and lonely life. I spent nearly two years writing full time and I found myself procrastinating and getting very little done. Now, there are people out there (very successful people) who are able to treat writing like a full time job and put in eight hours a day. I’m not one of them. Or at least I wasn’t three years ago. If I were financially able I would probably revisit writing full time, but for now I’m happy with things the way they are.

On a related note, I was speaking with author bud Renee Bess and she asked about my schedule. Normally, I write from 5-7 in the morning, which gives me thirty minutes to get ready for the day job. Since I’m currently on a deadline to have my manuscript to my editor by mid December, I’ve changed my schedule so that I’m getting an extra thirty minutes during the morning. I’m also writing from 7 to 9 at night. In a perfect world, the night shift would be for editing, but my trip to Massachusetts put me behind a few days so I’m playing catch-up.

Then vs. Than

After going through my huge stack of mail, I was pleased to find the newest issue of Writers Digest. I struggled for months with whether I should renew my subscription, boy am I glad I did. Let me just say that I have a few foibles that have haunted me since I began to write seriously.

For example, the difference between then and than has eluded me for years. I'm smart enough to go back and do a find before I send in my manuscripts, but I would much rather save myself the work and not make the mistake in the first place.

I’ve read several short explanations of how to determine which word to use, but none has stuck with me well enough to become natural in the heat of the write.

I opened my trusty Writers Digest this morning and I saw the following advice:

The word than is used to compare things (note the word compare has an a in it)

The word then is used to reference time (note the word time has an e in it)

That’s all I had to read. I’ve got it now. Of course I could muddy the waters by mentioning that then can be used to replace the phrase, “in that case,” but I’ve decided to never use that phrase in my writing ever again just so I won’t have to remember that part.

Sunset in P-Town

I wish my camera phone could have done this justice.

Cape Air Cesna

I grinned the whole way to P-Town on this thing. It seats 10 people total one of which is in the co-pilot seat. My enthusiasm was dampened greatly by turbulence on the ride home. I'll be driving from Boston next year.

On the way to P-Town

Well, here I am waiting for the train to portland airport. I sometimes forget how weird portland people are...until I smell them.

Friends and Family plan

Like most writers, I’m not independently wealthy. Hell, there are months when I struggle for middleclass. I’ve had to organize my life so that I can write in the mornings and evenings while still working a full time job.

Is it fun? Oh yeah, believe it or not, I love it.
What I don’t love is the fact that my mother and two of my friends have gotten mad at me for not calling them or answering my cell phone. The fact that I’ve had final edits on one book, and a proposal for another book due concurrently, is absolutely no excuse for not taking the time to chat.

So, much to my chagrin, I’ll have to add “friends and family time” to my efforts to organize my writing career. I just hope my mother will understand when at two minutes past the hour, I cut her off by yelling, “I have to go write that sex scene now,” just before I hang up the phone.

Spanky

Spanky decided she would nap in the laundry basket.

Losing things

I’m leaving for P-Town in less than two days and I’ve already lost two items. One was a gift check for $25.00 the other was my bankcard. Actually, I’m pretty sure the machine kept my card, but I am willing to accept at least part of the responsibility. I think loosing things is my brain's way of forcing me to slow down.

Such A Pretty Face

I am pleased to announce that my fourth book Such a Pretty Face has been contracted for publication by Bold Strokes Books. The book has been slotted for a July 2007 release which means I'm going to be a busy, but happy camper.

Over the coming day's I'll try to get as more information up. I hope to meet some of you in P-Town. I have some celebrating to do.