Thursday, August 30, 2007

Another Reason to Keep the Day Job

I could win the lotto tomorrow and I think I would keep my day job. Why? Where else would I get my WTF? moments. I had two last week and I’m in a sharing mood.

Exhibit A

I was talking to a visiting engineer about his vegetarianism. He mentioned he drinks a lot of milk to make sure that he gets protein. I explained that I was slightly lactose intolerant, however I seem to be able to eat yogurt and cheese with no issues. He looked at me quite concerned and told me that it was good that I didn’t drink milk. Drinking milk and yogurt within eight hours of each other causes leprosy. Honestly folks, I was all set to crack the hell up, but the man was serious. WTF?


Exhibit B

I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when the maintenance guy asked if he could speak to me outside. I go outside with him and he proceeds to tell me that he saw one of my employees go behind the dumpster. My first thought was, oh shit, the guy is stealing stuff and hiding it behind the dumpster! The maintenance guy assured me, that as far as he knew, my employee wasn’t stealing. When he’d looked behind the dumpster, all he found was a large pile of human feces and used toilet paper. WTF?

Sunday, August 26, 2007

ASK THE AUTHOR FEATURING GABRIELLE GOLDSBY AND SUCH A PRETTY FACE

All,

I'll be hanging out at BSBauthorsconnect all week to talk about my newest book Such a Pretty Face. Have questions about me or my writing?Here's the opportunity you've been waiting for, but were to shy or uninterested to ask :-).

Gabe

Friday, August 10, 2007

Crumpler—The Moderate Embarrassment—Review

Every gadget hound/writer knows it is essential to have a good gadget bag. Whether you use a paper and pen or a laptop (I use both) to write, you’ll need a way to carry those items around. There is nothing worse than finding yourself with unexpected free time, but no writing tools.

I decided not to carry my laptop on my last trip, so my Timbuk2 Blogger bag seemed like overkill. I started looking through my bevy of bags for something a little smaller, but just as durable. I came across Crumpler’s—The Moderate Embarrassment. I was bequeathed the bag by a friend who moved up to the larger Considerable Embarrassment. Since I have a fondness for messengers she gave the practically brand new bag to me. I jumped at the chance to give Crumpler a go, but found myself shying away from carrying it. Why? The thing was— no joke— embarrassingly green.

Don’t get me wrong, I like bright colors. I just prefer them on other people. This bag was the perfect size though: small enough to fit under the seat of an airplane, but big enough to carry some essential gadgets, a notebook, a file folder, a fiction book, a magazine, and a few high protein snacks. I decided not to worry about the color clash and give it a try.

As I already mentioned, my particular bag is a lime green color( they call it Olive/Light Olive), but The Moderate Embarrassment also come in less eye popping colors such as black/gunmetal, grey/light grey, red/dark red, purple/light purple and dark brown/oatmeal.

EXTERIOR

The exterior is made of a water resistant 900D Nylon: an absolute must for keeping those expensive gadgets dry when you live in the Pacific Northwest. Unlike the Timbuk2 messengers that I usually carry, Crumpler includes a padded shoulder strap. Nothing like finding red marks on your shoulder from lugging around an eight pound laptop (I have since lightened my load) to make you realize how important a padded shoulder strap is. One feature I would have loved was a center grab handle, preferably padded. It’s a lot easier to pick up a loaded bag when you have a grab handle. Imagine trying to move a laptop bag to your passenger seat while you get into your car. Picture the clock striking quitting time at your mortgage paying job, just as you hear someone walking toward your office. A grab handle will get you out of there just that much quicker. Trust me, I know.

Bet you're thinking, dang Gabe sure has ugly furniture. Not mine folks.I took these with the work camera on my lunch.


SECURITY

Crumpler provides a couple options for keeping your goodies secure. Two swatches of Velcro and two sturdy plastic buckles. I have been carrying this bag for a few weeks now and I have yet to use the buckles. Why? The Velcro is all the security I need. It’s hard as hell to open and impossible to open quietly. I would hear someone sneaking a hand into my bag from a mile away. True story: I was sitting on a panel in Atlanta and I remembered that I had taken some notes that I wanted to consult. I tried to sneak into my bag while another panelist was speaking. I had the bag half open before I decided to forget about the notes because the Velcro was so loud. From the reaction of the attendees you would have thought I had just ripped a maxi pad out of my boy shorts.

INTERIOR


The inside of my particular Moderate Embarrassment was made of a tan waterproof material. “The better to see your gadgets with,” said the wolf. But since this bag is meant to actually carry a laptop it also has a padded laptop compartment made of a velor like material. This too, comes with a protective flap that is secured by more Velcro. It’s important to note that the Moderate Embarrassment is meant to hold a 12 inch laptop. My friend purchased it when she was thinking about getting a 12 inch PowerBook. She ended up getting a 15 inch Macbook instead, so the bag didn’t work for her. It doesn’t exactly work for me either, as I have 14.1 inch Dell Latitude D620. I have discovered that the laptop compartment works well for sectioning off my manuscripts and loose notes folder.

An organizer pocket is sewn into the wall of the laptop compartment. One part is zippered and one part is open. The zippered area is perfect for carrying small objects or loose change. The organizer also has two slots for pens and large and medium sized pockets for gadgets. The large and medium pockets are secured by, you guessed it, Velcro!


The front of the bag has three more pockets, the largest of which is secured with Velcro. And finally, there is one spacious zippered pocket in the front of the bag.

CONCLUSION

I was very much tempted to dislike this bag, but I found nothing to dislike. It did everything I asked it to do, plus some. I did however dislike the Crumpler website. I thought it was cute at first, but it quickly became annoying. Turning off the sound made it a bit more tolerable. Despite my ambivalence toward the website and my personal preferences for a gear bag, I could not find fault with the quality of this bag. I recommend this bag for people with smaller laptops. If you’re looking for a simple gadget bag, this might be overkill.

Name: Crumpler –The Moderate Embarrassment

Purchased: Ebags.com

Price: $49.99-80.00

Size: 13.75" x 9.75" x 5"

Weight: 1 lb, 13 oz

Laptop Size: 11.02" x 7.87" x 1.18"

Pros: padded shoulder strap; waterproof; lots of pockets

Cons: Crumpler website is annoying; too much damn Velcro; no center hand grip; no external pocket for a wallet or keys.

Rating: 8 out of 10



Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Such a Pretty Face is now available for purchase!

Truthfully, it’s been available for at least a week now, but my editor had me chained to my desk and I was unable to write you about it. To be honest, I enjoyed every minute of it. The work not the chaining…well the chaining was kind of fun, too.

On a completely related note, a friend and I were having lunch at the mall and decided to peruse the lesbian and gay section at Borders bookstore afterward. Check out the lucky chick nestled right between JD Glass and Ellen Hart. That's right, yours truly on a bookshelf in Borders. Yes I took a picture of it and yes I acted like a complete fool when I saw it.