The Perfect F*ck You!

Yes, it has taken me almost two weeks to recover from the GCLS convention. I got my drank, dance, and all that good stuff on. It wasn’t a pretty site and the scary thing is—there are pictures. Suffice it to say, I loved every moment of it.

The con wasn’t all fun, some of it was work. I had a sit down with my editor and I was able to discuss some of my concerns and goals surrounding my next project. Yes, I could have had the same conversation over the phone, but the eyes don’t lie and I truly think my editor was being honest with me in every way. It was both gratifying and exhilarating. The meeting was private, so I won’t go in to any detail, but that half hour was worth the price of airfare to Atlanta

If you haven’t had a chance to visit a convention, I strongly recommend doing so, if only to meet some of your favorite authors. If you have a story to pitch, go for it. If you’re told that your story is not interesting, pitch it to someone else. But try to listen and do ask questions. Behind every harsh critique is a grain of truth, which might just make you a better writer. You’ll know you are a professional when you take that critique and use it to write a story, so good that they regret passing you up. You won’t find a more perfect "f*ck you" than success.

Back from GCLS

and I am exhausted. What a wonderfully stressful event! I met new friends, reconnected with old, drank and danced. Oh and I learned an awful lot, too. I'll try to post more later, but suffice it to say that I felt the con was a hit.

BTW to anyone that lost an eye on the dance floor...my bad ;-)

Today I like men...

Some of you may know that I pay the mortgage by administrating to the needy.

IE I'm an Administrative Assistant for 17 engineers-- all men. Anyway, I was really surprised when my boss handed me a card and inside was a Powell’s gift card for a hundred bucks. Powell's claims to be the largest independent used and new bookstore in the world. The main location stretches one Portland Oregon city block. I still can’t believe they picked out such a nice card, as well as, the perfect gift. I am sooo not a flowers girl, but I am a book girl.

By the way, to those of you who also administer to the needy-- Happy Administrative Assistant day!

God's Hairball take 2

As an update to the God’s hairball story Tara was kind enough to share some of her extraordinary photos.




How's that for a miracle appetite suppressant?

God’s Hairball

I was having dinner with my friend Tara when she informed me that she had plans to go see the world’s largest hairball. Based on what comes out of my own sink periodically, I could only imagine the size of said hairball. Tara further informed me that the hairball resided at Mt. Angel Abbey and Seminary right here in Oregon. Now, I do have a cat. So, I have some experience with hairballs. They are not meant to be looked at. They are meant to be flushed down the toilet (after they have significantly cooled, dried and are no longer gag educing). Tara was helpful enough to send me a link to an article in the Portland Mercury written by John Dooley. I have snipped the most interesting paragraph for your enjoyment.

World's Largest Hairball John Dooley, Portland Mercury

“Presented to visitors as a miraculous example of God's mysterious ways, God's Hairball was unbosomed in an Oregon City meatpacking plant in the late 1950s, cut from the swollen belly of a 300-pound swine and donated to the museum soon after, where it has been on display ever since. Weighing in at two-and-one-half pounds, the calcified, gut-polished lump of hog bristle and plaque is considered the heftiest known hairball in the world. Pinched at each end like a turd, the disturbing, retch-inducing wad is sickening in its putrid grandeur, and is a must-see for the quirky tourist!”


I don’t know whether I was more horrified by the authors use of the word unbosomed in this context or the words “Pinched at each end like a turd...”